Just a little different
I walk a little different
I talk a little funny
My eyes aren’t very straight
My teeth look like a bunny
I don’t have many friends
My legs don’t work at all
I need some extra help
Don’t laugh when I fall
I’m not quite normal
Whatever that might mean
Don’t judge me on the outside
Inside we’re all the same
I think a little slower
I stutter when I talk
I always get picked last
And shuffle when I walk
I’m a little heavier
Not as rich as it may seem
My grades are somewhat lower
I never make the team
I’m not quite perfect
Whatever that may mean
Don’t judge me on the outside
Inside we’re all the same
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,857 Reviews
thanks all!!!
Hiya! Me again!
So, another poem, eh? Mind if I review?
Of course not!
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So, I must say I liked the message. The epitome of being different blah, blah, blah...
But, I don't care. Why don't I care?
Because you don't show any emotion.
Yeah sure, being different is tough and all, but I don't get that through your writng. All I see are words of someone trying to make me feel sympathy, but it's like bad acting: they're just saying words that I understand, but I don't believe them and I'm not feeling anything.
This is the second poem I've read from you, and you're listing again. These things relate to the subject, yes, but I'm not getting anything. There's no imagery. I wanna leave feeling sorry for this person. I wanna relate. I don't want a list.
Also, you have no puncuation. Periods and commas are our friends. Read this aloud and mark where you make pauses. Now, when there's a complete sentence after you make a pause, put a period. If it's not complete, and it's a pause inside the sentence, put a comma. I don't know if I'm making sense, so you can PM me if you have questions.
I was just about to say that! There is no need for that. People must come to a conclusion themselves. It may be different than what you intended, but that's what poetry is about! So please, delete the descriptions after the title... let people have the surprise.
And try some originality! This needs a twist, something that makes me go "OOO!" or "AHHH!" or "I've never thought of that before" or "That's a good way of putting it".
Glad to help on another poem! If you have questions, PM me. I think this got kinda confusing.
Happy Writing!
I get the meaning, but I wish you would have presented it in a more original way. This si something everyone's seen at least twice. It was a decent poem in the sense that your language was good and the structure was good and nothing was misspelled or confusing (though some periods would be nice.). All it needs is some interesting imagery. Also, I've noticed that on all your poetry there is the title and then (a poem about blankity-blank) you don't need the explanation-poetry will speak for itself.
the point of the poem was awesome. i'm not sure if you meant to do it but there was like 2 stanzas that didn't add to the rhyming scheme of the poem but it turned out well. talking about being different and then adding that difference to your poem really payed off.
I like the point that you're trying to make. Discrimination is an evil thing. People need to be given a chance instead of being shunned from the beginning. Also, I can't relate to this story by also being shunned for being different. You have to remember that you're as good as everyone else. (: Anyway, good poem.
Oh, by the way, what do you mean by Not as rich as it may seem? Do you mean that you're not as rich as you may seen?